Oh August how wonderful and bittersweet you are. It’s the last month before fall which is my favorite time of year. It’s the weird in between month where it would be the last month before school started. The month before the season would change. You felt the breeze become cooler. The energy of the city would take a different turn as businesses and families prepared for the upcoming school days, the cold and of course the holidays. I would swell in excitement and skittish vibes. What would the year bring? Always hoping it would be better than last year. Growing up my perspective was different. It was hopeful and at times a bit lonely growing up. Then things changed….
August 2016 changed for me after I lost my daughter. I go back to that whole month savoring and reminiscing in the last good memories I had being pregnant with her. Finding out we were having a girl. Playing Pokémon Go to get in my walks for the day. We were looking forward to everything with her. Being pregnant in the winter sounded perfect to me. She would of been born close to my birthday. Losing her changed August for me. I might not smile the same but I feel the breeze for her sake. I enjoy the change of seasons because she didn’t. I will include her and her brother I lost after in May 2017 during holidays. I’ll hold their brother who’s running around right now tighter. These bittersweet sweet memories I’ll always hold near me. August will always bring it back to me and for that I thank you.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live. -Norman Cousins