Life

New Normal: Staying Home

Adjusting has been difficult to say the least. There are days things aren’t difficult. You take things as they come. Unexpected turns are made and there’s so many thoughts in place. You’re just shocked you sleep through the night.

My life has been hectic. You’d think being at home meant being less busy. Not the case at all. Between decluttering the whole house and not working from home anymore with a now 2 year old. It’s impossible not to be busy! I’m also still cooking from home at least 2 times a week. I order out if possible. (Grubhub is tempting to say the least. We are so guilty of not passing up a good deal). I only go out maybe twice a month only for groceries or to step outside front for my plants and watch my husband run around with our son. Life’s been calmer and mentally hectic more than anything.

My cyber social life has skyrocketed. I’m back to playing video games mostly ps4 and animal crossing on the switch. Binge watching anime again with my husband. Things that got me through so much in life already. It’s starting to feel like there’s not enough time in a day for everything to be done. But, I value our health and how we’ve dealt through this quarantine. My husband comes home with stories of how the outside has been doing. I can’t help but weirdly realize how much things around us have changed. Few months ago we were planning with friends and family to gather for a picnics and going to Central Park. Now it’s animal crossing and group chats with memes and venting sessions. Daily face times to check in with each other.

Living in NYC with the virus it’s hard to see an end to this. Though there are many pros and cons. It feels unreal. To not be able to leave when you want. Questioning yourself as you get ready to run an errand if it’s absolutely necessary. Anyone else forget their mask while walking outside and turning around to run back to get it? (ME!) The amount of tension outside is thicker than the air itself. You feel it come off people in waves. The split second horror on people’s faces when someone clears their throat.

It’s hard to say “I’m okay” when things aren’t like they used to be. Change sometimes can come in increments. But this was thrown at everyone and it’s difficult to even handle it with grace. I hope we can all get through this.


I’ll try to post more as time goes. Probably lighter things and small successes I’ve had personally. But I just had to get this out of the way. Stay safe everyone. Much love always. I’m still active in my succulent insta @everlasting_echeverias

Grief, Life, motherhood

Three without You

Happy birthday my Rosebud. It’s been three years.

Three years I’ll never get with you,

-even I find it hard to believe it’s true.

Three years I’ve dealt with this grief,

-still in on our minds even if it’s brief.

Three years that still haunt me today,

-some days I still ask myself if I’m okay.

Three years here without you here,

-Yet, our love for you never disappeared.


For those that don’t know. I was suppose to have a daughter January 2017. But life has other plans and she was born August 2016. Every year I write a poem. We eat out and silently celebrate her. As I reminisce in my pregnancy with her. She was my first. The one that gave me all those first feelings. Doubts. Dreams. All that I can ever hope for in the 4 months that I carried her. If you’ve been through this I’m so sorry. Life heals. Life gets better. You never forget, you just find a new way to live.

Life, Shedding my Weight

Week 1 Weight Loss

I thought this week would be harder. I’ll admit I’ve opened my eyes and see how people can be tempted back into old habits. How easy would it be to eat that cookie? To order pizza and not count how many slices I’ve already eaten? Or wake up and eat a snack at 3 am? Yeah it’s hard. But I set this goal for myself. For my health. To show myself that I CAN do this. Some days while I’m walking outside with my son in his stroller. Legs still a bit sore from walking for over a mile yesterday (Well everyday of this week so far). Been drinking the fat burning shakes once everyday for the past 5 days. It’s yummy besides the aftertaste which is tolerable. 1 pound down, so much more to go. My husband and sis in law have joined to help ourselves start a healthier lifestyle. Of course they’ve lost more than I have. Which is amazing just wish I would have the same results. I’ll have to try harder and be more careful with what I eat. Drink more water and keep up with the walks. The goal is at least 5lbs down by the end of the month.

Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Shedding the Weight

It begins. My journey to weight loss through the years has been a battle. I always say I’ll lose and never do. My head was never in the right place. Depression. Comfort eating. Bad habits. All of it just came back every time I tried. I want to start today and see where it takes me. I’m not going to do a crash diet or anything of the sort. Simply going to be more aware of what goes into my body. Change little things here and there. Measure my portions. Morning walks with son for an hour and drinking some Lean Shake I bought in the mornings before hand and tracking my calories with the MyFitnessPal App. Later on in the journey I’ll hopefully reveal my true weight but I’m still uncomfortable in doing so. Every Sunday (or Saturday) I’ll keep everyone updated. Hopefully I can put this in a separate tab somewhere so it’s easy to follow.

Product Review, Skin Care Beauty

Petal Spa Oil to Foam

In my skin care I have a Rose theme going on and I continue to add more things Rose related. I recently bought this oil to foam cleanser from Mamonde to make my nightly skin care much easier. It melts away my makeup which is usually mascara with some eyeshadow and liquid lip. After it’s well distributed. I add a tad bit more with water and foam it up. It feels so luxurious and smells lovely as usual. Leaves my skin feeling soft and clean. The consistency is almost like an oily gel so it’s easy to over use the product thinking it won’t be enough. Plus, whatever bit of makeup or anything is left I usually use my toner and cotton pad to get everything completely off. Honestly, just from the week I’ve been using it’s a definite permanent part of skin care routine as long as it’s available. I always look forward to my night skincare since it relaxes me before going to bed so having something that feels like I’m pampering myself is amazing. You can find this at Ulta by clicking on this link—-> Mamonde Petal Spa Oil to Foam

Life

Bittersweet Memories

Oh August how wonderful and bittersweet you are. It’s the last month before fall which is my favorite time of year. It’s the weird in between month where it would be the last month before school started. The month before the season would change. You felt the breeze become cooler. The energy of the city would take a different turn as businesses and families prepared for the upcoming school days, the cold and of course the holidays. I would swell in excitement and skittish vibes. What would the year bring? Always hoping it would be better than last year. Growing up my perspective was different. It was hopeful and at times a bit lonely growing up. Then things changed….


August 2016 changed for me after I lost my daughter. I go back to that whole month savoring and reminiscing in the last good memories I had being pregnant with her. Finding out we were having a girl. Playing Pokémon Go to get in my walks for the day. We were looking forward to everything with her. Being pregnant in the winter sounded perfect to me. She would of been born close to my birthday. Losing her changed August for me. I might not smile the same but I feel the breeze for her sake. I enjoy the change of seasons because she didn’t. I will include her and her brother I lost after in May 2017 during holidays. I’ll hold their brother who’s running around right now tighter. These bittersweet sweet memories I’ll always hold near me. August will always bring it back to me and for that I thank you.


Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live. -Norman Cousins

Life

Being Their Voice

Before ever becoming a mother. The thought brought an anxiety that was so overwhelming I didn’t think I would have any children. How can I take care of this little person that’s my own? Was I capable of being a good mother? Show them that the world is both beautiful yet so cruel. All these thoughts still haunt me. Little less than before they’re replaced with other things now but they’re still there some days.


I also realized throughout life and now having my son. How careful we as parents need to be when we speak to them as they’re growing. It’s easy for them to absorb everything. Children are truly sponges to those around them. We parents are legitimately their first interaction with the world. It comes to no surprise that even to this day I can still hear my parents voices for a lot of the decisions I make in life. It’s something I find humorous most days. When I went to get my first tattoo I could already feel the disappointment of my parents and hear them saying how I probably ruined my body by getting it. Mind you, I was 22 almost 23 and didn’t really mind their disapproval at this point. I’m usually confident in most of my decisions and what I do with my body now that I’m older. Yet, even still I hear them in my head before doing anything. It’s becoming more faint as the years go by and it made me realize that the strongest voices in our children is mostly ours. Their self esteem, confidence, fears and overall sense of self mostly comes from being around us. I hope that I can be better and give my son more positive thoughts than negative ones. That he won’t feel the need to hide things from me. After all, we have free will. Regardless what we tell them. They can choose to rebel against it or listen. They’re always listening. They’re always watching. Strive to be better cause perfection does not exist.


This has always been a fear of mine with having kids. I hope one day if they ever do hear my voice or their dad’s voice. It’s help guide them through life decisions and if it’s small things that they’ll laugh like I did. All in good time I suppose.

Life

Industrial Piercing

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The worst part is mostly after. The aftercare and trying to remember the piercing is there. It’s fresh and it hurts when I forget it’s there! It’s rare but it happens and I’m sure it will continue to happen. I’ll be posting healing updates and progression photos until I change it. One thing for sure I completely forgot I can’t swim underwater with a fresh piercing. Gladly, the vacation I have planned isn’t all about swimming.

Day 1 Freshly pierced

Day 3 Little to no blood and not much swelling

This might take a while to heal anywhere from 4 months to 1 year. Hoping for the best healing wise. Wish me luck.

Life

Body Modifications

I’ve always been interested in piercings. Growing up I wanted extra holes above the ear piercings I had already. Get my nose pierced and snake bites. Never did the snake bites though. My body is prone to scarring easily and didn’t want to chance the skin around my lips bruising. The nose piercing I ended up loving and still do! It’s been 2 years and I still love how it makes my overall face look. I was tempted to get a septum but with a one year old who am I kidding?


Today I’ve decided to get an industrial (A bar in my upper ear cartilage) which makes me nervous. I think sitting here on the bus on my way there. I’m building up anxiety and a non existing expectation of pain. I’ve gotten tattoos. Pierced more than once. Given birth with epidural and yet a needle still makes my stomach flop. How’s that even possible? I need to get it together. If anyone out there reading this has ever gotten an industrial or pierced in worse places. Please tell me I’m crazy and I’m nervous for no reason.


Product Review, Skin Care Beauty

Refreshing Toner

Skin care is important especially for someone like me. Before I had dull, dry skin. Although, my skin is now combo skin, no skincare meant my skin was dehydrated at all times. So I did what anyone else does now. Research. I researched how to start a day/night skin care regimen. I bought different things recommended for my skin. Over a month ago I didn’t even know there’s a difference between serum and essence. I didn’t know toner was actually one of many necessary steps. This is one of my favorite steps ever since the sun came out to play.


Toner I’m currently using


Found this gem on amazon with high reviews and affordability why not? It has a heavenly rose scent and it’s alcohol free. It’s hydrating and soothing for my skin. You can put it in the fridge and it helps reduce puffiness while also giving you a cool refresh when needed. This heat doesn’t play. I’m one of those “I hate the heat” type. Spring and fall are my actual favorite seasons. Hoodie weather FTW!

Here’s the link if anyone’s interested in purchasing this lovey toner: Thayers Alcohol-Free Rose Petal Toner


*As an Amazon associate. I do earn commission from qualifying purchases with the links provided above*

More skin care products that I’ve been using the past 1-2 months coming soon. Comment below if you have a skin care routine you love and what’s been the best products for you thus far.