Life

Transitioning from a Stay at Home Mom to a Working Mom

I was nervous for my first day. Wondering how I would be. I was a mother that had been through more than I should have in the almost 4 years I hadn’t worked. Every time I thought I could go back. I couldn’t.

How could I? After everything. I thought I was forever meant to be at home. That I wasn’t fit to work again after all as I walked in with what I was sure the anxiety written all over my face and smile.

Would they like me?

Can I do this?

Will I mess up and they’ll not want me there anymore?

I asked myself all this the whole time I was in training.

But I made it through. I took a deep breath and did my best to absorb everything I was being told. Asked questions when necessary. Time flew by and I eased into the routine. By the 4th day I felt comfortable enough to do the morning routine alone.

My son was with my mother who I trusted 100 percent. I’m so glad that we have her to help us with him considering how much my son loves her. Husband supported my decision to return to work and helps me in the morning preparing our son. I’m amazed at how much love and support I’ve had through this. I miss my son. I miss being home with him, the cats and succulents. But I know work would be good for me. I hope to truly to continue loving where I am and discover who I’m becoming as I start a new chapter in my life.

Life

Countdown to Vacation Time

My husband and I have yet to ever take a vacation together at all. Every year something always came up. The excuses would pile up. Until this year. I said enough and finally booked us a cruise to the Caribbean. As the days close in and we start packing my anxiety builds. This is going to be the first vacation together after 8 years. The first time we will be away from our son for a week. The conflicting emotions made me tear up. However, as parents and spouses we definitely need this. I’m so glad my son has my parents. His grandparents to love and take care of him. I know he will enjoy his stay. He will be comfortable, loved and fed that when I come back. I’m not even sure he will have missed us. Here’s to new things and more adventures!

Life

Being Their Voice

Before ever becoming a mother. The thought brought an anxiety that was so overwhelming I didn’t think I would have any children. How can I take care of this little person that’s my own? Was I capable of being a good mother? Show them that the world is both beautiful yet so cruel. All these thoughts still haunt me. Little less than before they’re replaced with other things now but they’re still there some days.


I also realized throughout life and now having my son. How careful we as parents need to be when we speak to them as they’re growing. It’s easy for them to absorb everything. Children are truly sponges to those around them. We parents are legitimately their first interaction with the world. It comes to no surprise that even to this day I can still hear my parents voices for a lot of the decisions I make in life. It’s something I find humorous most days. When I went to get my first tattoo I could already feel the disappointment of my parents and hear them saying how I probably ruined my body by getting it. Mind you, I was 22 almost 23 and didn’t really mind their disapproval at this point. I’m usually confident in most of my decisions and what I do with my body now that I’m older. Yet, even still I hear them in my head before doing anything. It’s becoming more faint as the years go by and it made me realize that the strongest voices in our children is mostly ours. Their self esteem, confidence, fears and overall sense of self mostly comes from being around us. I hope that I can be better and give my son more positive thoughts than negative ones. That he won’t feel the need to hide things from me. After all, we have free will. Regardless what we tell them. They can choose to rebel against it or listen. They’re always listening. They’re always watching. Strive to be better cause perfection does not exist.


This has always been a fear of mine with having kids. I hope one day if they ever do hear my voice or their dad’s voice. It’s help guide them through life decisions and if it’s small things that they’ll laugh like I did. All in good time I suppose.