Life

Loving Myself

Some days are harder than others. My walls sometimes come down and I’m left vulnerable. I don’t even realize it sometimes until something happens. If someone talks to me a different way. When my son seems to only want to be with everyone else except me. If my husband is having a bad day. When someone at work gives a sharp tongue without meaning to. I feel it. They’re like paper cuts in my soul that sting throughout the day. I sense all the positivity and confidence leave me. It’s crazy how all the good takes so long to fill. Yet, it’s so quick to leave all the same. I’ve learned lately to build walls but to always leave a hole open. Others may see this as a weakness. But I see it as opportunity.

I know I will be hurt.

I know I’ll have low and high days.

I know my confidence will drain.

But I’ll take it easy. I’ll be kind to myself cause I’m not perfect. No one is. I’ll love myself even if in the moment I don’t feel loved. Self love is a beautiful thing. It’s not selfish. It’s hard to do everyday. But if I love myself a little more. I’ll be okay. Not always but one day.


Thanks for reading everyone and for those who like my posts. Thank you for doing so. I’m trying to be more active on here. For now enjoy a pic of my sleeping cat on the computer chair that my husband and him fight over every time. It’s almost a daily affair that makes us all laugh. Sometimes I wish I had his life for a day. His face is so peaceful.

Life, Succulent/Plants

Why Succulents?

Sometimes it’s weird how we discover hobbies that we never thought we would be into. At first, I started off with a small terrarium plant. I realized it wasn’t happy at all in it and I researched how to take care of these new succulents of mine. One thing led to another and suddenly I was finding beautiful succulents all over online. Purchased some and I never turned back since then. It was therapeutic to wake up and go through my morning routine. Let my son unwind a bit and check on these beauties from time to time. I eventually started purchasing more and joined some Facebook groups to share the love about succulents. It’s amazing who you meet and talk to. Sharing tips and advice when needed. Sharing photos of the different types there are. I’ve met some amazing people through all this and I couldn’t be happier tending to my plants. I get to admire their beauty. Watch them grow and change in color from time to time. Recently I’ve been into pinks and peach colors lately. Sometimes purples, greens and blues (reminds me of mermaids). It’s nice to be kept busy. It’s weird to think I was/still a gamer. I use to play a lot before my son. I miss it sometimes but it’s nice to find something new and exciting to do. I have low and high days emotionally and get easily overwhelmed by things at times so having a hobby does help deal with a lot of the anxiety, stress and depression I tend to deal with. Although it’s not a cure. It’s something to help through those tough days. The days where I feel like I’m not enough as a mother or wife. Those days where I feel like my grief is lingering longer than usual. So why succulents? Well, cause they make me happy and appreciate the beauty of nature. Sharing that love with other people. You start to find yourself again. A little help sometimes goes a long way.


Thanks for reading if you reached this far. It’s hard to put into words how one hobby and a bunch of plants can help. It’s the strangest thing. Anyone else have a hobby they love? Comment below and share your passion.

Grief, Life

Pets are more than just Animals

It’s odd how these little creatures leave the biggest impressions in our hearts. They can only live for so long and it’s heartbreaking to even think when they come to you at any point of your life or their lives. That one day they’ll leave you.

I used to be a dog person. Least I thought I was. I love them yet I wouldn’t want to have one since it doesn’t fit our lifestyle personally. I ended up with three cats somehow (I like to pretend they showed up here one day lol) and never looked back. Everyday they bring some kind of laughter and comfort to all of us while also being a pain. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

They’ve grounded me more than I can express words. My third cat I got after losing my daughter. The first two comforted me through some tough times. Simple things like being frustrated at work to sad days. But, nothing like trauma and grief. I’ve never seen them so anxious and smothering. Cats aren’t known to be as affectionate as dogs. Including my own. They enjoy our company but don’t find us holding them for a long period of time pleasant at all. It was the next morning after my loss that I woke up and there it was. That feeling of never wanting to get out of bed to fave the world ever again. A silence so deafening I could scream so I turned around to try and sleep to find my two fluff balls on the bed with me. Normally, they don’t get along or would of meowed for more food or at least looked up at me. Instead they decided to come closer to curl up near my body, their ears perked up as the tears came, the silence broken with the sobs. The sobs of a heartbroken soul. They pitted silently and I fell asleep. This happened for about a week straight. My husband would have to take them off the bed or wake them up to lay in bed with me. I found it sweet that they didn’t leave my side in the morning. It’s as if they were grieving with me…


I’m sure there’s so many stories like this one. Where these beautiful creatures help their humans more than they could ever comprehend. Most say “They’re just animals. They don’t know.” I beg to differ as I sit here with my son and mostly surrounded by at least one of them. Keeping an eye out always. Pets aren’t always just animals to people. They’re family.


Thank you for reading! Would love if anyone shared their stories related to their pets and the joy they bring you! Much love everyone. Till the next blog.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight loss and Hormones

Getting on that scale every Friday is intimidating. I look forward to it to see what’s working and what’s not. I don’t because I’m afraid to fail. As a woman of course every month I go through a week of having my menstrual (yes, my period) and the cravings used to be for Oreos. Not that I would deny having an Oreo milkshake even now. However, it’s usually much less likely for me to deny any while dealing cramps.


Luckily, I’ve been able to curb the cravings so far. I don’t deny myself the sweets. I only taste and move on for the most part. Besides, the protein shakes and afternoon walks really do curb the cravings as much as it can. I’m proud to say that although before my vacation I lost 3 pounds and gained 4. I was able to lost 7 lbs since coming back September 12. It’s been a month and 7 lbs is progress. Although I’m sure I can lose more. I’ll continue to do so. I’ll take as much as I can get at this point. Even if it’s 1lb a week. I’ll share more as I go. For now it’s only protein in the morning. Less carbs. More water. Combined with intermittent fasting. Hopefully I’ll continue losing every week!

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight Loss Update

As most of you know from my previous blog. I started my weight loss journey to hopefully reach my goal slowly. Going on vacation I did my best to limit myself (not have seconds of any foods. Tasting dessert rather than finishing them. Limiting carbs as much as I could) overall I only gained 2 pounds which isn’t bad! Thought it would be more like 5 pounds. It’s been 2 weeks and I’m already down the 2 pounds that I gained. I need to buy more fat burner protein. Go back to limiting my carb intake more. Going out for more walks at least 4 times a week. Currently it’s about 3-4 but they’re usually short or too long that I lose the nerve to go the next day. I really hope in 6 months to reach my small goal of losing about 15 pounds. Wish me luck cause it’s more difficult than I planned it would be.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

The Little Things in Weight Loss

It’s easy to want to see fast results when you’re on a journey to weight loss. That’s why small goals matter. Ones that are easy to reach. Celebrate them accordingly and it’ll help your mindset, motivation and confidence.


Last month I purchased distressed Bermuda shorts in the size I usually buy and felt as if they were tighter than usual. I felt defeated and upset since they were so cute. I put them with the pile of “Jeans that might fit later” which is right next to “Pants that will probably never fit me again”. Sad, but true. I decided to try them on today with not much hope since I didn’t feel all that different. It’s been almost 2 weeks since I became serious about my journey and BOOM! They fit like a glove. I even did the squat test and they didn’t feel like they were going to rip and the button didn’t dig into my abdomen. As I silently sit here and do my quiet hurrays. I can’t help but feel even more motivated. This means I need to be more diligent. Find beauty in these tiny victories. Where will I be a month from now? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Let’s hope I’ll be fitting into one of the piles of jeans I have for later.

Life, Shedding my Weight

Week 1 Weight Loss

I thought this week would be harder. I’ll admit I’ve opened my eyes and see how people can be tempted back into old habits. How easy would it be to eat that cookie? To order pizza and not count how many slices I’ve already eaten? Or wake up and eat a snack at 3 am? Yeah it’s hard. But I set this goal for myself. For my health. To show myself that I CAN do this. Some days while I’m walking outside with my son in his stroller. Legs still a bit sore from walking for over a mile yesterday (Well everyday of this week so far). Been drinking the fat burning shakes once everyday for the past 5 days. It’s yummy besides the aftertaste which is tolerable. 1 pound down, so much more to go. My husband and sis in law have joined to help ourselves start a healthier lifestyle. Of course they’ve lost more than I have. Which is amazing just wish I would have the same results. I’ll have to try harder and be more careful with what I eat. Drink more water and keep up with the walks. The goal is at least 5lbs down by the end of the month.