Life, motherhood

A Moment

I needed a moment to myself. Balancing work, social, love and being a mother in life. It became a cycle that I eventually forgot to blog, write in my journal and dare I say? I stopped playing video games all together. I miss it some days. Other days I rather snuggle up to my son and husband to watch the Grinch (for the 3rd time that day)

Sometimes our conversation mingle between how we’ve been feeling with things in life lately. I’ll be honest it’s been overwhelming. I’ve always been such an over-thinker when it comes to anything. I can lay still at night while my mind rummages through the day about things.

Did I play with our son enough? Did he eat enough? Did I have enough patience today? Are the cats happy? The coffee I didn’t get to prepare for my husband…will he resent me? Did I finish that task at work or this task? That bag of laundry should be done by this week or should I go do groceries? Maybe if I had more energy or planned it out better.

There’s always doubt. There’s always something I could of done better. I recently been attempting to prepare for the future. Forgive the past and accept the present. It’s not easy. It’s a struggle every single day for someone who tends to plan and stress when plans aren’t executed on time. But I’m trying and I think that’s good enough for me.

Featured image is a succulent from my collection called Echeveria Sang A.

Life

Loving Myself

Some days are harder than others. My walls sometimes come down and I’m left vulnerable. I don’t even realize it sometimes until something happens. If someone talks to me a different way. When my son seems to only want to be with everyone else except me. If my husband is having a bad day. When someone at work gives a sharp tongue without meaning to. I feel it. They’re like paper cuts in my soul that sting throughout the day. I sense all the positivity and confidence leave me. It’s crazy how all the good takes so long to fill. Yet, it’s so quick to leave all the same. I’ve learned lately to build walls but to always leave a hole open. Others may see this as a weakness. But I see it as opportunity.

I know I will be hurt.

I know I’ll have low and high days.

I know my confidence will drain.

But I’ll take it easy. I’ll be kind to myself cause I’m not perfect. No one is. I’ll love myself even if in the moment I don’t feel loved. Self love is a beautiful thing. It’s not selfish. It’s hard to do everyday. But if I love myself a little more. I’ll be okay. Not always but one day.


Thanks for reading everyone and for those who like my posts. Thank you for doing so. I’m trying to be more active on here. For now enjoy a pic of my sleeping cat on the computer chair that my husband and him fight over every time. It’s almost a daily affair that makes us all laugh. Sometimes I wish I had his life for a day. His face is so peaceful.

Life, Succulent/Plants

Everlasting Echeverias

I did it! I made an instagram to start posting one succulent a day and seeing how long it takes me to finish going through them all! I swear I probably have more than 150 different ones. Mostly Echeverias if I’m honest. They’re my weakness especially pink ones.

Luckily, succulents don’t require much care to keep them happy. Especially smaller Echeverias that I’ve dealt with. I’ve been stressed a bit with my sea dragon and it’s leaves dropping. Seems like I can’t keep it happy unfortunately and that I might lose it. I recently planted it in better draining soil and giving it more light than all my others. It’s perking up but I’m wondering if the damage is done. Guess I’ll never know now.

It’s been hectic working, being a mother and wife. While trying to keep up with succulent care, blog, daily tasks and an almost non existent social life. Not that I’m upset about it. Personally I love how my friends and I are. Sometimes one night out is all we need to refresh and catch up on everything before going about our lives.

Anyway, that’s my update for now. Follow me and my succulents: @Everlasting_echeverias

Till next time my beloveds.

Life

Transitioning from a Stay at Home Mom to a Working Mom

I was nervous for my first day. Wondering how I would be. I was a mother that had been through more than I should have in the almost 4 years I hadn’t worked. Every time I thought I could go back. I couldn’t.

How could I? After everything. I thought I was forever meant to be at home. That I wasn’t fit to work again after all as I walked in with what I was sure the anxiety written all over my face and smile.

Would they like me?

Can I do this?

Will I mess up and they’ll not want me there anymore?

I asked myself all this the whole time I was in training.

But I made it through. I took a deep breath and did my best to absorb everything I was being told. Asked questions when necessary. Time flew by and I eased into the routine. By the 4th day I felt comfortable enough to do the morning routine alone.

My son was with my mother who I trusted 100 percent. I’m so glad that we have her to help us with him considering how much my son loves her. Husband supported my decision to return to work and helps me in the morning preparing our son. I’m amazed at how much love and support I’ve had through this. I miss my son. I miss being home with him, the cats and succulents. But I know work would be good for me. I hope to truly to continue loving where I am and discover who I’m becoming as I start a new chapter in my life.

Life, Succulent/Plants

Why Succulents?

Sometimes it’s weird how we discover hobbies that we never thought we would be into. At first, I started off with a small terrarium plant. I realized it wasn’t happy at all in it and I researched how to take care of these new succulents of mine. One thing led to another and suddenly I was finding beautiful succulents all over online. Purchased some and I never turned back since then. It was therapeutic to wake up and go through my morning routine. Let my son unwind a bit and check on these beauties from time to time. I eventually started purchasing more and joined some Facebook groups to share the love about succulents. It’s amazing who you meet and talk to. Sharing tips and advice when needed. Sharing photos of the different types there are. I’ve met some amazing people through all this and I couldn’t be happier tending to my plants. I get to admire their beauty. Watch them grow and change in color from time to time. Recently I’ve been into pinks and peach colors lately. Sometimes purples, greens and blues (reminds me of mermaids). It’s nice to be kept busy. It’s weird to think I was/still a gamer. I use to play a lot before my son. I miss it sometimes but it’s nice to find something new and exciting to do. I have low and high days emotionally and get easily overwhelmed by things at times so having a hobby does help deal with a lot of the anxiety, stress and depression I tend to deal with. Although it’s not a cure. It’s something to help through those tough days. The days where I feel like I’m not enough as a mother or wife. Those days where I feel like my grief is lingering longer than usual. So why succulents? Well, cause they make me happy and appreciate the beauty of nature. Sharing that love with other people. You start to find yourself again. A little help sometimes goes a long way.


Thanks for reading if you reached this far. It’s hard to put into words how one hobby and a bunch of plants can help. It’s the strangest thing. Anyone else have a hobby they love? Comment below and share your passion.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight loss and Hormones

Getting on that scale every Friday is intimidating. I look forward to it to see what’s working and what’s not. I don’t because I’m afraid to fail. As a woman of course every month I go through a week of having my menstrual (yes, my period) and the cravings used to be for Oreos. Not that I would deny having an Oreo milkshake even now. However, it’s usually much less likely for me to deny any while dealing cramps.


Luckily, I’ve been able to curb the cravings so far. I don’t deny myself the sweets. I only taste and move on for the most part. Besides, the protein shakes and afternoon walks really do curb the cravings as much as it can. I’m proud to say that although before my vacation I lost 3 pounds and gained 4. I was able to lost 7 lbs since coming back September 12. It’s been a month and 7 lbs is progress. Although I’m sure I can lose more. I’ll continue to do so. I’ll take as much as I can get at this point. Even if it’s 1lb a week. I’ll share more as I go. For now it’s only protein in the morning. Less carbs. More water. Combined with intermittent fasting. Hopefully I’ll continue losing every week!

Dream Journal, Life

Spiritual Dreaming

Ever since I was young. I’ve been dreaming (literally) almost my whole life as far as I can remember. Anywhere between random, happy, or nightmares. I’m not sure when the nightmares began. I was probably about five which is normal for any child to have night terrors. You eventually think it’ll be something you grow out of. You start to even avoid horror movies or creepy stories. Just to see if you can avoid having nightmares. Unfortunately, I never grew out of it. I wonder if it’s my overactive imagination or my emotions have a way of showing itself to me in the most horrible ways. It went to the point that while dreaming, I developed (well my brain somewhere did this) some sort of way to protect itself during these times of horrors or protect myself from “real” life. It’s almost as if another part of myself talks and interacts with me when I need it the most.


Another thing I’ve noticed. Not sure if it this applies to my obsession with orcas when I was younger but when I was young. I would always dream about an orca when I was scared or struggling through life. If I was near a body of water in my dream. I would see either it’s tail or dorsal fin. I could see it has some sort of tribal “tattoos” while passing through. If I dreamt I was in the water. There was nothing. Just me in the water and slowly from the corner of my eye it would appear and pass by me. The dream is quiet as if all of sudden I’m deaf and nothing else matters but the connection between me and this orca. The tribal “tattoos” are a deep red from what I can remember. As an adult now, where I don’t watch anything that has to do with orcas. It almost feels like something I default to when I’m dreaming and going through a hard time in life. It’s either the orca or someone speaking to me in my dreams. The brain works in mysterious way I suppose.


Anyone else have vivid dreams? Dreamt of things before they happened? There’s so many other dreams I would like to share with y’all from my dream journal. Much love and take care!